“How do you cope with someone you loved so much moving on so quickly? Does it make you have regrets or resentment? Does it make you question everything you once thought was real? How do you not compare yourself to her and remain confident. I went through something so similar and it ruined my mental health. I became almost crazy thinking of how and why constantly.”
“I remember feeling so embarrassed that someone I loved was now posting about someone else. And all my friends could see and it made me feel awful. How do you manage to ignore it all?”
I want to start by saying that in the past, something like this would have shattered me completely, but at this point in my life I am very secure in who I am and have learned through lots of practice to never question my self worth because of other people’s actions and to try my hardest to continue to keep my heart soft and open even when it wants to create a hard shell after taking a beating. I’ve been receiving so many messages with questions / comments, I haven’t been ignoring it or hiding it, I just truly haven’t really had the courage to write about it.
Honestly never thought I’d even be writing this blog post and I wasn’t going to talk about the fact that we broke up on social media for a while because 1. Kind of hard for me to talk about so soon after it happened and 2. Nobody really gives an f. But since it’s now out in the open that he has a new gf and because of how open I was about my relationship in the past, I think it's time to write some of my thoughts and feelings about the whole thing for you guys so there’s no confusion. Like I said before, I share a lot on social media because I hope some of you will learn something from the shit I go through and help you get through your own stuff. Plus it really helps me a lot too! It kind of gets me to process what I’m feeling and motivates me to write everything down, dig deep into what’s going on in my head and heart. With that being said, it doesn’t mean I owe anyone full details on what goes on in my personal life and this was one of those situations that I didn’t feel ready or think it was appropriate to talk about just yet. But now I’m ready. So this post isn’t just about my breakup, it’s just an update about my feelings and some new things I’ve learned through this whole ordeal.
Life sucks sometimes, relationships aren’t easy, and heartbreak can be earth shattering, but don’t let it harden your heart. Don’t let it change the way you see the world or other people. Nobody is perfect, no situation is perfect, accept that you have no control over other people and what they decide to do. What you do have control over is how you react to every situation life throws at you, you have control over your emotions, you have control over the way you choose to treat people, the way you choose to love. I have nothing against my ex, and I don’t know anything about his new girlfriend, but I know him really well and if he loves her then I’m sure she’s a great person. Even though I have this mindset, it doesn’t mean that I’m not still hurt or sad by what’s going on, or that I don’t have days where I literally feel like I can’t breathe. It just means that, like I said before, I know I can’t control how he feels or how he chooses to live his life. Doesn’t matter how confident I am in myself, of course it gave me a heart attack seeing him with someone new so soon after we broke up and seeing so many messages from everyone about it made me nauseous. I wasn’t prepared for that and I still can’t fully express my feelings about it all, but for now all I can say is from what I’ve learned you just have to embrace what you're feeling and what you're going through. Attack it head on, feel all the feelings, let all the not so fun thoughts come and allow them to pass through. The worst thing you can do is keep them in. I’ve been numb before and nothing good comes from it. Sometimes I know the pain feels unbareble but remember that the reason why you are feeling this pain is because of how strong the love was in the first place. That’s a gift, love is the best gift you can receive and it usually comes with a lot of pain but that’s what’s so fucking beautiful about it.
A lot of people know how to fall in love but don’t know how to stay in love. So just remember that being in a relationship and being in love should add to your life, not define it. I don’t have any regrets, and I refuse to sit here and question my whole relationship just because he loves someone else now. Nothing good would come from it. I also don’t care who his new girlfriend is because it’s irrelevant!!! It’s so easy with social media to obsessively look and compare and wonder. But you can’t give into that shit. It’s not real life and it’s not healthy.
Their relationship has nothing to do with me so why should I sit here and compare my old relationship to their new one? They are 2 completely different things and we are 2 completely different people.
Another thing to remember: some people move on faster than others and it can be hard to deal with but it always comes back to what I said: we have no control over what other people do or how they feel, or even handle things. They have their own life and you have yours. It’s weird and hard not having him in my life anymore but I will never be the person that deletes photos of my ex, pretends they didn’t exist and act like I never loved them. I fucking loved him. We have been through so much together and he will always have a spot in my heart. I’m not embarrassed to say it and I don’t need to be in a relationship with him or be friends with him to admit that. So remember, not each love is meant to last forever and not each soul mate is meant to be "the one." You’ll find your person when the time is right my loves🌟
I’m linking a previous heartbreak blog post here & also another blog post I wrote about Luka a while back here . I hope that by being so open about my experiences and my feelings you realize that you’re not alone and you’re going to be ok! Remember that even the happiest people have shitty days😣 It’s part of life! Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need some advice or want to vent about something similar you’re going through. Send me your thoughts or stories on my latest Instagram post here . I love connecting with you guys🌟
Xx - Maya